Bard Letsinger

Meeting the Chupacabra

Ever since I was in elementary school I have been fascinated with cryptozoology. Back then I had no idea what the study of creatures such as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and others was called, I just thought it was cool. Recently a creature that people are calling a Chupacabra, literally goat sucker, stared being spotted around Cuero, Texas. An area rancher, Dr. Phyllis Canion had seen one for several years on her ranch and when it was hit by a car she quickly retrieved the body for study. Since then Dr. Canion and her Chupacabra have appeared on the History Channel’s Monster Quest, Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, and soon on an upcoming NatGeo special…and now with a couple of crazy Renegade Pastors.

Like many people when I first saw a new story on this “chupacabra” I came to a conclusion on what I thought it was, but it was not until I got a firsthand, close up, look and quickly found out there was more to this creature than meets the eye. Here is the full interview with Dr. Canion. Check it out for yourself.

Doing My Part to Protect the General Public

This week I did my part to protect the general public by taking down one of the most dangerous animal on the North American continent. On average over 100 people a year are killed and 10, 000 injured by this creature and when I saw this one I did not hesitate to pull the trigger. What animal am I talking about? A bear? Bears only kill on average 5-10 people per year in North America. Sharks? Only about 50 attacks a year worldwide. Dogs? 33 fatal attacks on people in 2007. Here is a picture of me and one of me and my brother with this beast.
 
I know what you are thinking…sweet, cute Bambi a killer?!? It is the truth. More people are killed or injured per year in traffic accidents with White Tail Deer than are killed in attacks by all other animals in North America combined. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates there are approximately 1.5 million auto-deer collisions per year, resulting in damage and losses of around $1.5 billion a year, which works out to an average cost of $1,000 per accident. State Farm Insurance Agency also supports these statistics, and goes on to report that, in the year 2004, there were 150 human deaths in the United States directly linked to car-deer accidents.

I have experienced this first hand. I love to take my motorcycle when I go to our ranch. It is a 120 mile round trip with several nice routs to take with some nice curves that are fun to ride. However I don’t ride at dusk or at night, it is way too dangerous. There are deer all over the side of the road at night, especially on back country roads in rural Texas.

The fact is that there are more deer in North America today than when the Pilgrims landed in Plymouth in 1620, and hunting is an important way to keep their numbers in check. Not to mention there is nothing tastier than Fried Venison Backstrap. My goal is to just keep you safe as you travel through the back roads of Texas; it is just the right thing to do and a tasty way to do it.

Not how I want to meet Jim Cantori (Preping for Ike)

We are preparing to batten down the hatches as Hurricane Ike roll off Cuba as a Cat. 1 with nothing but warm open water between where he is and the Texas coast. I love weather, tracking storms, etc. My wife jokes that if I was not a pastor that I would be doing what Jim Cantori does at the Weather Channel. Cantori is the man, reporting from a blizzard in Colorado one day, and on the Gulf Coast staring down the eye wall of a Cat 3 hurricane the next. He has covered so many hurricanes on the coast that you don't want to see him reporting anywhere near where you live when there is a storm in the Gulf.

On Sunday I was on line studying the Gulf of Mexico, the highs and lows, Ike’s track over Cuba and got a bad feeling about this storm. Sure enough come Monday most of the computer models had Ike making landfall in our vicinity. The middle of the "cone" takes it right through Victoria. After my softball game Monday evening I gassed up both cars and the motorcycle, filled the spare propane tank and had Mollie make a list for a trip to the store first thing Tuesday morning. The goal is to secure the house and get everything we need before it gets too squirrelly as people scramble for plywood, water, caned good, generators, gas, etc.

We lived less than half a mile from I-45 in The Woodlands north of Houston in 2005 when Rita prompted the voluntary evacuation of what seemed like all of North Texas and turned every Interstate Hwy and freeway into a parking lot. Now that we are in Victoria I am not sure if we will stay or leave, just waiting to see what the forecasted track is tomorrow and when they expect Ike to make landfall. I will post as often as I can and keep everyone updated.

I would like to meet Jim "The Angle of Death" Cantori, but not this weekend. In situation like this if Jim Cantori is in your area then you probably should have evacuated.

Cuero and South Texas Chupacabra on the History Channel

My friend Skip is big into cryptozoology, from the Greek word

κρυπτός, kruptos, meaning "hidden" + zoology, literally,  the "study of hidden animals". He is into Bigfoot, which is better than my friend Paul who I understand has a unrealistic fear of Bigfoot. (Bigfoots comming, gona get ya gona get ya). I remember hearing that song on the radio at our ranch in Kenedy back in the 70's and being a litte freaked out. Googled the song and the lyrics but could not find it. I guess everthing is "not" on the web yet.

Anyway, over the past couple of years the cryptozoologist have been all over Cuero, Texas where they have found a strange creature that they think may be the legendary Chupacabra. It has been a big deal with stories in the Victoria Advocate and on KENS TV in San Antonio, and if it KENS 5 in SA runs a story from the Victoria area you know it must be true.

Chupacabra is Spanish for “Goat Sucker” and for a full definition and traditional description see the Wikipedia entry.

Tonight I am watching MonsterQuest on The History Channel. On the left is a picture of one of the animals that some ranchers killed. Another one like it was hit on highway 87 and a rancher got it and froze it because she thought it might be the animal killing her chickens. Parts of that animal were sent to a lab for DNA testing. In the MonsterQuest program a couple of guys are running around on Canion Ranch in Cuero, baiting traps with old HEB chicken and traipsing around he woods at night trying to trap, film or get a picture of a real live Chupacabra. If these guys are getting paid to do this then I think me and Skip are in the wrong line of work. If you get a chance check out the program, especially if you use to live in South Texas. It will make you feel at home, and at the same time a little creepy.

God's Fireworks

Recently at an Astros Game Braiden and I got to see their wonderful Friday Night Fireworks. This past weekend we experienced something even better, God’s Saturday Night Fireworks. A strong thunderstorm cell came in from the east and for over five hours, From about 9:00 pm until just after 2:00 am, we saw a lighting display like I have not seen in years. The lighting was literally nonstop, flashes upon flashes, sheet and streak lighting jumping from one cloud to another with all different colors, whites, blues and golds. We watched the lighting in the distance, tracking the storm on the laptop, for about an hour before we saw the first drops of rain. Braiden and I went out caught a little of on video. This will give you some idea what it was like, but it does not do it justice.

I love watching the weather. If I was not a pastor I think my dream job would be to be a storm chaser. No, actually it would be to take over Jim Cantore's job at The Weather Channel. One huricane season I was watching Jim onThe Weather Channel so much Mollie thought I was on the verge of become a stalker. (You are not offically a stalker until you have a website or blog devoted to that person...this is only one post and does not count). Jim has a great job, one day covering a blizzard in Montana, the next day a hurricane on the gulf coast.

I have a dream, it is a crazy dream, an unrealistic crazy dream, but it is my dream, What is it? My dream is to combine my love of the weather and my love of motorcycle and start the "Storm Riders", a storm chasing motorcycle ride group. We would ride all over Tornado Alley in the Mid-West chasing storm cells and trying to get a personal up close look at a twister. It would be just like the movie “Twister” just on Motorcycles and probably look something like this.

Well, maybe some dreams are better left unrealized.

The storm was just another reminder of how powerless we really are in this life and how powerful God really is. To think we can control the weather or have some major global influence over something like this is having a way too high opinion of ourselves.

Hit by the Love Bug

Spring, that time of year when something is in the air. You are riding along, minding your own business, just enjoying the beautiful day when…. WHAM…it hits you…The Love Bug. Then Splat it hits you again.... another one. Then SPLAT, WHAP, WHAM, SPLUCH, a whole bunch hit you at once, No, I am not talking about "in spring a young man’s fancy" figurative love bug, I am talking about thousands of actual Love Bugs smashing into you at 70 mph. Well in reality they just float there and you go smashing into them.

Late spring along the Gulf Coast and these things are out by the millions, hovering around roads. Sometimes they are called Honeymoon Bugs (appropriate), Kissybugs (obvious) or Telephone Bugs (this one I don’t get) but car wash owners call them “The Money Makers”. I saw one semi that was completely covered in them. It turns out their bodies are acidic and since birds will not eat them it seems their only enemies are speeding automobiles. And because their bodies are acidic they can ruin your cars paint if left on too long.

My son Braiden was four when we moved back to Texas and he saw his first Love Bugs attached to each other. His first question, “What are those bugs doing?”

“Well son, they are, um, they are, just giving each other a hug. Yeah, that’s it, just giving each other a hug.” I was not about to go into a "the bird’s and the love bugs" talk with my four year old, mainly because he was/is too stinking smart and it I knew it would lead to more questions. A few days later we were out side when Love Bug by itself landed on Braiden. He looked at the thing and in what can only be described as a four year old channeling Isaac Hayes said “That poor Love Bug ain't get-in no love.” I about died laughing.

Now, you think they are bad in your car, try encountering a swarm of them on a motorcycle. I did on my ride this week and it was not fun. The worst is one that flew into my helmet into my ear. Now the thing was still alive and crawling around tickling my ear. Drove me crazy and there was nothing I could do.

As I was riding it occurred to me that Love Bugs are a lot like sin. When riding, or even in a car, we will swerve to avoid big things like buzzards because hitting one of those things can do some damage. But Love Bugs, we just ignore them and keep on driving. Love Bugs are little things, no big deal, just a speck on the windshield. Life is the same way, we usually swerve to avoid the “big sins”, things like murder, robbing a bank, affairs, things we know can wreck out lives quick. But little things like gossip, lust, envy, bad attitudes, greed, can seem like no big deal. While one love bug on the windshield is not big deal, a bunch of them can make it impossible to see clearly. In the same way one little sin might not seem like a big deal, however they build up and blind you over time. And, just like the acidic bodies of the smashed love bugs will corrode your paint unless it is washed off; uncleansed sin can over time eat away at you.

After my ride on Monday where I put off all the things I needed to be doing (see my April 29, 2008 post) I had to add one more thing to my “To Do” list on Tuesday. I had to wash my bike. After that I had to wash me… then I took a shower and crossed a few more things off my “To Do” list.

Arachnophobia

I made fun of Earth Day and now the bugs and other creatures of mother nature are coming out of the woodwork. My neighbor almost ran over this bad boy while he was crossing the street infront of our house. She ask if I was going to “squish” him and I was like “NO WAY!!” He is too cool. If I still had one of my old aquariums around I would have kept him as a pet, but instead I put him in my garden thinking he might take care of any leftover Squash Ladybird Beetles (see my post on April 23, 08). Well, he did not stay in the garden long. I kept looking out the window to see him wondering across the yard like he had somewhere else to be. Kailee and I had fun taking a few pictures and playing with him until we finally needed to go in for dinner. I moved him to another flower bed under a large ginger plant and have not seen him since. Now when we go out to the garden Kailee says that she misses her spider friend.

On Earth Day Bugs Bugging Me

One thing that bikers like to do is eat. Me, I don’t just like to eat but I also like to cook. One of my specialties is my homemade mesquite smoked salsa made with vegetables grown in my own garden. This year along with my tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, hot pepper and basil I planted some zucchini squash. I love fried zucchini. Heck I will eat just about anything if you deep-fry it.

At first the squash took off, then they started to not look so good, like something was munching on the leaves. On closer examination I discovered a few bugs with orange and black spots that looked like a different colored ladybug. I went to a local nursery and spoke with one of the plant experts about my problems with the squash and the bugs that I found. She confirmed they were Ladybugs and told me not to put insecticide on the plants but let the good bugs eat the bad bugs that were eating my plants. HA!! Now whatever is eating my squash was going to get it. Days passed however my squash keep looking worse and worse even with the appearance of more and more Ladybugs. Once I found two of the ladybug on a big pretty leaf, then I checked back a few hours later and the two ladybugs were still there BUT the leaf was eaten up. Wait a minute!? Could they be what is eating my squash!?! Are these really caterpillars disguised in ladybug’s clothing? On to the World Wide Web for help.

Researching I found a great site, What’s That Bug.com , run by two teachers in California. Now it obvious from the site that they are true left coasters (they don’t advocate squishing any creepy crawlies and have a great page dedicated to “Unnecessary Carnage” ), but politics aside this is a great reference site. If you find a bug and you don’t know what it is this is the first place to look. Lots of pictures and stories submitted by people from all over the world. I took a picture of one of my “so called” Ladybugs and sent it to them. Now they get hundreds of e-mails a week and can only respond to a limited number so I was not only surprised when they responded to my e-mail but also posted my e-mail and the picture I sent them of my bug on their main page and in the Ladybug section of the site.

Oh, and the bug in question…it’s a Squash Ladybug Beetle, and is a rarity in the Ladybug family because instead of eating aphids and other bugs, like 99% of all other types of ladybugs, this particular one EATS SQUASH LEAVES!!! Well, what did I do with my wolves in ladybugs clothing? Let just say their name is a clue. "Squash Ladybug Beetle", Ok don’t mind if I do. "WHAM" It's safe to say my bugs quickly qualified for the "Unnecessary Carnage" page, which in this case I felt was quite necessary and justified. However, I don’t think the lady’s at What’s That Bug.com would be to happy with me.

Celebrating Earth Day, by flushing my toilet over and over and over and over and over and over...

Personally I don’t hold to this whole global warming thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against taking care of our environment. I like clean air, all for finding new sources of energy, obvious that we do have water shortages in some areas of the country, however some of the solutions are….well… just plain stupid. For example lets take green toilets. No, no, no, not toilets that are painted green to remind us to be kind to the environment, I am talking about the “low-flow” verity. For years standard toilets used between 3 & 5 gallons per flush. The house I grew up in was build in 1972 and had one of these standard toilets, and boy did it work. You could flush a football down that thing with no problem (I know because me and my brother did). Our toilet was not just the final resting place for a few expired gold fish, but hamsters, gerbils, gunnie pigs and the occasional small dog. 35 plus year in that house and my parents still do not own a plunger.

Recently we just built a house and discovered that due to government regulations you can only install new, low flow toilets with a 1.6 to 2 gallon per flush rate. Translation, my 3 year old goes to the bathroom uses a couple pieces of toilet paper and I am headed to the garage for the plunger. Now I am not a math wizard but lets see:

Old toilets: Take care of business, flush (3 gallons of water down the toilet, literally)

New toilets: take care of business, flush….flush again, plunge, plunge, flush, plunge, flush, plunge,flush (at 1.6 gallons per flush that is 8 gallons of water plus extra carbon dioxide emission from your heavy breathing from all the plunging and not to mention all the noise pollution from your yelling and cursing out the blasted, tree hugging no good #*%#))# that invented this #(@)! thing).

Now you tell me which is better for the environment the old one flush and done toilets or the flush three times just to get a roach to his final resting place ones. The answer is logical, however logic and things like government regulations or global warming are oxymorons.

Well I must be off to celebrate Earth Day by in one trip to the bathroom flushing away enough water to supply a small town for an entire earth day.

Michelle Malkin has a blog and he thinks the whole "Earth Day" thing is a plot to destory capitalism.

Oh, and one more reason to hate Earth Day, All day Captain Planet Marathon on Boomerang.