Bard Letsinger

One Green Thing Every Decade.

Comedian David Brenner use to joke “My mother was always on me to eat my vegetables. She would say ‘everyday eat a green thing, eat a green thing‘…so I use to go around picking the moss off trees.” I understand how he feels. Notice the word “green” starts with the letter “G”… …so does the word “gross”, coincidence…I think not.

Between age 0-10 I did not eat green things, or any vegetables for that matter…flat out refused. Oh, I did eat peas…sort of. When I was about five years old my parents put a few on my plate and I ate them, well I swallowed them whole. According to my parents however eating involved chewing, and tasting, and that was not happening. Three house later they realized that I would sit at the dinner table until I to leave for school the next morning before I would chew up and swallow a pea.

I went years without eating green things, but then in my teen years I started eating salad. I don’t remember why, I just did. It was loaded with cheese, croutons and sunflower seeds but there was some green stuff in the bowl somewhere. In my 20’s I tried some zucchini at Olive Garden. It was deep fried and just about anything deep fried is edible in my book. Then recently Mollie and I went to Mexico and since we were out of the country I just went crazy and tried avocados in the form of guacamole. Now I can not get enought of the stuff.

No plans on trying anything new in the near future. Now I am looking for new ways to prepare the few green things that I like. This summer I grew some massive zucchini in my garden, after I squashed all the "Squash Ladybugs" that were eating my plants (see the post "On Earth Day Bugs Bugging Me" from last spring). My zucchini three to four times bigger that what you find in the store. I cut one of them into “steaks”, brushed on some olive oil and dusted them with garlic salt, black pepper, and Italian seasoning and threw them on the grill. Then I made some Gorgonzola Cheese butter to drizzle over the zucchini after it was plated (o.k. I have been watching way too much Food Network). This goes great with my homemade Pesto made with basil fresh from my garden. Basil is an herb so it does not count as the fourth green thing in my diet.

Since it seems that I add one green thing to my diet every decade in a couple of years I will be looking for something new to try.  I am currently taking suggestions as to what that green thing might be... and Mollie tells me whatever it is can’t be deep fried…Drat!! Any body have a moss covered tree in their yard?

On Earth Day Bugs Bugging Me

One thing that bikers like to do is eat. Me, I don’t just like to eat but I also like to cook. One of my specialties is my homemade mesquite smoked salsa made with vegetables grown in my own garden. This year along with my tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, hot pepper and basil I planted some zucchini squash. I love fried zucchini. Heck I will eat just about anything if you deep-fry it.

At first the squash took off, then they started to not look so good, like something was munching on the leaves. On closer examination I discovered a few bugs with orange and black spots that looked like a different colored ladybug. I went to a local nursery and spoke with one of the plant experts about my problems with the squash and the bugs that I found. She confirmed they were Ladybugs and told me not to put insecticide on the plants but let the good bugs eat the bad bugs that were eating my plants. HA!! Now whatever is eating my squash was going to get it. Days passed however my squash keep looking worse and worse even with the appearance of more and more Ladybugs. Once I found two of the ladybug on a big pretty leaf, then I checked back a few hours later and the two ladybugs were still there BUT the leaf was eaten up. Wait a minute!? Could they be what is eating my squash!?! Are these really caterpillars disguised in ladybug’s clothing? On to the World Wide Web for help.

Researching I found a great site, What’s That Bug.com , run by two teachers in California. Now it obvious from the site that they are true left coasters (they don’t advocate squishing any creepy crawlies and have a great page dedicated to “Unnecessary Carnage” ), but politics aside this is a great reference site. If you find a bug and you don’t know what it is this is the first place to look. Lots of pictures and stories submitted by people from all over the world. I took a picture of one of my “so called” Ladybugs and sent it to them. Now they get hundreds of e-mails a week and can only respond to a limited number so I was not only surprised when they responded to my e-mail but also posted my e-mail and the picture I sent them of my bug on their main page and in the Ladybug section of the site.

Oh, and the bug in question…it’s a Squash Ladybug Beetle, and is a rarity in the Ladybug family because instead of eating aphids and other bugs, like 99% of all other types of ladybugs, this particular one EATS SQUASH LEAVES!!! Well, what did I do with my wolves in ladybugs clothing? Let just say their name is a clue. "Squash Ladybug Beetle", Ok don’t mind if I do. "WHAM" It's safe to say my bugs quickly qualified for the "Unnecessary Carnage" page, which in this case I felt was quite necessary and justified. However, I don’t think the lady’s at What’s That Bug.com would be to happy with me.