Surprise Date

Mollie completely surprised me on Friday with a date night. She left a note on my pillow that morning that I was a complete moron and did not read. Oh, I saw it, but just assumed it was a sweet note to get me out of the funk that I was in. I was enjoying being a grump so I was going to save it.

At 5:15 PM Mollie comes up to me all dressed up and says “I leaving”.

I am like “whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going?!?”

Her reply, “I‘m going to pick up the sitter. If you would read your note you would know what is going on.”

Doh!! Here is what the note said “Would you like a night out with your wife? Would you like time for us to be alone? Would like a great dinner somewhere? Would you like to quit reading these questions and get to the point? If you said yes to any of these questions be ready tonight by 5:45 PM.”

Great, a date…oh great, I had less than half an hour to get ready!! Oh wait, I am a guy, thirty minutes to get dressed is an eternity. I was good to go before she got back and even had 23 minutes to spend on the computer.

We had a great evening. First we went to Greek Brothers for dinner. I love their steaks because they know the difference between Rare, Medium and Medium Well. Even better than the food was the conversation, Mollie and I got to sit across a table from each other and talk without anyone (i.e. the kids) interrupting us between sentences.

One of our unwritten date night rules is that we don’t do dinner and dessert in the same place so we dropped the top on our cute little car (which is awesome for date nights) and headed downtown to Longleaf Coffee & Bakery Company, our hometown coffee shop that has homemade cheesecake and pies that are incredible. We sat at a table outside on the sidewalk, watched the traffic come down main street and talked. Of course as we sat there we saw about eight people we knew.

When Longleaf closed about 9:30 PM we went cruising. Yes cruising, just like in high school. We drove through downtown, up Navarro, through Sonic, around the Mall, circled the movie theater, and then headed for Riverside Park. Back in high school the “bends” at the park were popular hangout spots. Today the “bends” at Riverside Park, “Grover’s Bend” now F.B. Lowery Dr & “Fox Bend” have been closed to vehicle traffic so the big loops we use to cruse are off limits, but you can still drive a little way down. We found a spot in Fox Bend, turned off the engine and just sat there, listening the frogs and the wind in the trees. With the top down on the car we could look up at the stars and the moon, see the deer (about 13 of them), and stare in amazement at all the lighting bugs. We also were constantly looking over our shoulders for the Ax Murderer we just knew was sneaking up on us as we sat there talking. That is what we did all evening , talk and reconnect. It was a great date.

The bottom line is relationships take work, even the best ones. Mollie and I have been together almost 23 years and we are no exception. As couples counselors here are some of Mollie’s and my rules for reconnecting and staying connected:

1. Have a date night at least once a month. Sometimes plan it together, but guys let me tell you, if you arrange the sitter, make the reservations, and plan out the whole evening for your wife it will usually end well for you…and yes that is exactly what I am saying.

2. Dinner should be at a restaurant that is not too loud so you can talk. This usually rules out any place with a live band.

3. When you go out you have to sit across the table from each other, so you can look at each other and talk. I can’t tell you how many times we have been out and seen a couple sitting in a booth next to each other and not say a word to one another the entire meal.

4. No Movies!!! I know you are saying “What!?!” There is no conversation in a movie, therefore no connecting. O.k., you can do a movie or the theater as long as you spend time at dinner before and dessert afterward in conversation.

So what do you do to reconnect? Do you have regular date nights or time away together? If you have not been on a date with your spouse in awhile I challange you to plan one this week and surprise them.

Comments

[sheryl]

Okay, found you by doing a google search so ignore the message on your myspace page that you never (rarely) check. Love the date night advice. Strange to hear how the park has changed since I haven't been in Victoria in since 2004 and then only for a few hours.